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By Angelina Frost
What if the greatest gift you could ever give required no money, no effort, no striving?
What if it wasn’t about earning or achieving or fixing—but simply about being?
I know. It sounds suspiciously woo. But stay with me.
This isn’t about spiritual performance. It’s not about becoming someone new, better, or “healed.”
It’s about the one thing you were born naturally giving—before the world got loud: your undivided, loving attention.
I get it. Attention doesn’t sound sexy. It’s the cost of admission for your umpteenth Zoom call or this week’s safety briefing.
But the kind of attention I’m talking about?
It’s alive.
It’s the soft, radiant presence of a child marveling at an ant.
It’s the full-body receiver of listening without an agenda.
It’s the most radically rebellious gift you can offer...
...to others. And to yourself.
To our great detriment, we learned to use our attention in service of performance, production, and pleasing others.
As little ones, we learned to judge—first by being compelled to compare ourselves to people we aren’t, and then by being compelled to compete with everyone around us.
We've been told that this is natural. That it’s in our competitive nature. The truth is, it is our de-naturing.
And today, science is showing something very different: that our true nature is to care. To cooperate.
We learn to not care.
We learn to compete.
In that process, we forget how to simply be with someone or something without trying to change it. Or them.
It is in that forgetting… that we begin to suffer.
With time we become starved for the kind of attention we were designed for.
Not the “Look at me! Look at me!” kind of attention.
But the “I see you, and I allow myself to be seen” kind.
You know what I'm talking about. Think of the way babies look at you—pure, unfiltered, un-distracted.
No angle. No agenda. No ulterior motive.
The reason that we come to crave attention is because we’ve learned to misuse it—turning it into currency for validation, rather than using it the way we were born using it—nourishing our natural connectedness.
The Turnaround
Here’s the thing: attention is connection.
It’s the same soft beam of awareness we share when finding new love.
That tender, mutual “I see you” exchange.
No masks. No roles. Just presence.
At the root of nearly every toxic relational dynamic—yes, even the mild ones—is the wound of early disconnection. That is where attention-seeking behaviors are born. That is where we lose touch with ourselves.
And that is where we begin to cope by proving, performing, and masking. Sad, isn't it?
So, here’s the good news:
Being the owner of your own attention returns you to your natural presence.
And real presence? It’s disruptive—in the best way.
It slows everything down.
It softens hearts.
It makes space for something holy.
When you offer this kind of attention—to your child, your partner, your colleague, your barista—time bends.
And you remember: you are not your conditioning.
You are a field of conscious awareness, made of Love.
But First: Receive
Of course, there’s a catch.
You can’t give what you’ve forgotten how to receive. Before we can offer this kind of attention to others, we must begin by offering it to ourselves.
That means receiving your own undivided, loving attention.
This might sound strange at first, so here’s a metaphor that helps:
Photo by Nopparuj Lamaikul on Unsplash
The Signal
Imagine a radio tower. It can only broadcast a signal it’s tuned in to. If it’s not receiving, it’s not transmitting.
Simple as that. To cast a signal, it must first receive one.
And that signal? It’s in the air. Everywhere. Always available. Freely moving through space.
Science has long spoken of frequency in relation to thought. Masaru Emoto’s work with water molecules shows that loving intention changes the shape and behavior of water crystals. There’s nothing physical being added—only vibration. Only attention imbued with loving intention.
Here's the leap: If what we want is peace, harmony, connection—and if undivided, loving attention is the signal that gives rise to connection—wouldn’t it make sense to tune to this, first?
If connection is what creates a sense of safety, joy, and belonging—
And if connection is born from your innate ability to receive loving attention—as all babies are born knowing how to do—then this practice is our way home.
Just like the radio tower.
The Conditional (and Conditioned) Signal
Here’s the rub: you’re already receiving and transmitting. Perhaps not consciously, but it's happening no less. Since we were born naturally tuned to the love frequency, yet were not supported in remaining in this frequency, nor shown how to maintain this frequency, there's little to do at this point but remember. That is if what we want is to lead better, to love better, to live better.
As things turned out, most of us are tuned to the signal of judgment. Not because it's natural for us to judge, but because this is one sad way we learn to use our miraculous minds.
As radio towers, we receive it. We absorb it. We internalize it.
And then we broadcast it outwardly. But especially we broadcast it inwardly. This sad and toxic habit is at the heart of all of the addictions. We aren't bad because we learned to judge. But there is a lot of sadness because of it.
What's more: it's not so obvious at first glance that judgment breeds shame. Shame leads to hiding. Pretending. Masking. Oh yeah, and addiction of all variety. And all of that leads to… isolation.
Judgment is the antithesis of Love. And no, I am not talking about discernment. I am talking about the kind of attention which condemns.
If we are broadcasting judgment, we are not adding life to life.
We are adding distortion. Disconnection. Not just for yourself, but for those around you. Even for the ones you love.
And. The moment you embrace the practice of receiving Love—truly tuning in—returning to your nature, everything changes. You naturally begin to transmit something lighter. Freer. More appreciative. More life-affirming. Not just for you, but for everyone around you. This is the true win-win-win equation.
So if the signal you transmit shapes the life you experience—and it does—then wouldn’t it make sense to tune in to Love?
Not someday, but today.
Now.
It might just change everything.
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